3.19.06 - Paperwork Overload

Wow, has it really been over a month since I last "checked in?" Time just seems to fly. After my brother shared his wonderful and surprising news, I got to thinking about when we needed to step up the process. If you remember I mentioned we had some time to wait since we wouldn't be able to travel until next spring. So I had Jer on my mind and I was reading blogs and I thought, "Ok, if I want to travel in March, I need to start the process... [Counting on my fingers] OH MY GOSH!!!!! I HAVE TO START NOW OR I'M GONNA BE LAAAAATE!!" LOL! Where the months went I don't know. I'm sure I'll be saying that for the rest of my life. Time just keeps slipping by faster and faster. Almost makes you wish for the days when you were a kid and time was this never ending fathomless measurement scheme adults used to torture kids with: "When you're older you can..." "In 5 years you'll be able to..." "Maybe some day..." Now when I think of older I think of less energy, and in 5 years most of my hair will be gray, and maybe some day if I'm lucky, my body will stop falling apart little piece by little piece. Ah alas, if only someone could invent a way to slow time.

Well I didn't sign on to pontificate on the vagaries of getting older. I have stepped up the process. Sort of. I have the agency application form and I downloaded the I-600A form (gov't form to officially petition to adopt an orphan), and our passport forms (yes, I know I'm probably the only person alive over the age of 18 to not have a passport). Jim's has expired so he only needs to renew- lucky dog. I also received the paperwork from the home study agency. Oh gol, all the paperwork piled up together is almost a half inch thick. :-( And they want all sorts of information. I knew this going in, but it didn't become real until I had to know where exactly my parents were born, and just what cultural heritage I practice. Huh? I guess that should be American? United States American? As a country we spend so much time focused on diversity that we focus all our attention on other heritages and other cultures that it seems we forget our own. What culture and what heritage am I? What would all of you put down if asked that? "The forgotten one?" Ooh, ooh, ooh! How about this one: "Please list the address of every place you've lived in the past 10 years. Use a separate sheet of paper if you must." Oh gol.... I'll have to start pulling out tax forms to figure this one out. 10 years means back to college for me. I dunno. And I haven't exactly been known for staying in place for very long.

So I admit, I went so far as to gather the paperwork, but once I started in on it, I'm quite intimidated and it's been sitting here untouched for the past week. And of course they all have big bold words stating on the gov't forms that lying- even unintentionally can be a federal crime, and on the agency forms the big bold words state that if they find out you're lying, all communication ceases and I get zero dollars back. Well now if that doesn't intimidate me... What's a lie anyway? Yeah sure I know that if I have been arrested and I fail to disclose that, that is a lie. (I have not been arrested by the way.) But what about if I misspell Jim's city of birth. Will they call me up and say, "Mrs. Matasovsky, we found no records of a James M. Matasovsky in Amarillo, Texas. You lied to us! You are hereby dismissed!" Should I say, "Oops, sorry. Try Amarilo with one 'l' and let me know what you find." Hmph! I'm a big picture person, not a detailed person. It may be my downfall.

So that's the latest scoop. Nothing exciting to report other than providing you with the mental image of a large stack of crisp white papers dancing on my desk shouting, "Na, na, na, boo, boo" while I am crouched cowering into the wall in the farthest point in the room from these perplexing personified papers.

I did nonchalantly pose the seemingly harmless question to Jim, "Are you a big picture person or a detail person?" Of course I knew the answer to that (I've been married to the man for over 5 years), but I wanted him to say it. He fell quite neatly into my trap by saying, "Oh hands down I'm a detailed person!" My response was to do a quick jig and clap my hands and say, "Oh good! You can do the paperwork!" He just gave me a withering look and shook his fist. Ah well... I see I still need to do a bit more convincing. Perhaps the thought of federal prison will make him more inclined to be the one to put ink to paper.


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