1.31.06 - The Agencies

Out of all the agencies that work with Kazakhstan, we narrowed it down to two that we would be interested in working with. We had phone appointments with both today. We came up with about 18 questions this weekend that we wanted to know about. Both agencies (I'll refrain from naming them out of respect for the one we don't choose) seemed pretty equivalent. Both people we talked to were very nice, very knowledgeable, and very helpful. One agency is on the east coast (Eastern Time Zone) and so we called her at 7am this morning and chatted for about 45 minutes. The other agency was very flexible and we were able to call her at 6:30 this evening.

Basically both are well known for their work in Kaz. They both offer great in country services. One agency even provides cell phones. Another agency keeps a lawyer in country to help out as needed. Um... I'm trying to think of what the interesting points are. I guess ask and I shall respond. :-)

Know what though? Kaz is just south of Siberia! Cool isn't it?! Well... actually (no pun intended) it's very cold. In the northern regions, the average January temp (average!!) is -18 F. Holy criminey crickets!! And I thought MN was cold. Now granted, I've seen -25 here (not including the windchill- with the windchill it was like -40), but still. When I looked at maps that showed latitude lines, MN is about 45 degrees, and central Kaz is about 50 degrees which is equivalent to the southern part of Canada. I just thought it was pretty nifty that if all goes well, we'll be going practically to Siberia for a kid! :-)

Oh! I also figured out how to pronounce the name of the country. Both ladies pronounced it the same way. The last part is stan- just like all the other stans. But the first part is like Cause. And not the shortened version of because (which is more like a 'cuz'), but like "I'm fighting for this great cause." So it's Cause-ick-stan. Weird. I'm still struggling with the cause part. Seems to me it should either be Koz (like Cozumel) or Kaz (like in cat). But nope. Causeickstan. Hmph. I'll get used to it.

Back to the agency debate, we haven't decided. I mean I think we have, we just haven't deliberately chosen. It's one of those things where they're both good so all we have to go off of is our gut.

So here's a new wrench kinda thrown in. Which is a good wrench overall, but it doesn't benefit us really. Ok, so you all know I took this new job. The peak part of it is scheduled for the December time frame. When I took the job, I made a commitment to them. My goal for adopting is to have the kid after that time. Ideally that would be the spring of 2007 at the earliest. Well in talking to both agencies today, they said that the average time through their process (keep in mind every agency, home study group, and country is different) is 9-12 months from start to finish. EEEKS!!! Since we're "starting" that puts us at October-January which is the EXACT time I won't be ready. So the good news is the process is nice and fast. The bad news is that we'll have to slow down the front end stuff so that we can time it such that I'll be able to keep that commitment to work. Oh sure if it were an unplanned pregnancy we'd all have to deal with it- life moves on and I'm hardly irreplaceable. Nonetheless, I made a commitment and this isn't "unplanned" and I would not feel ethically good about what I was doing. And I want to feel good when I go to pick up my kid! :-)

So again what does that mean? Nothing much other than we're not in a hurry. If we were in a hurry Jim and I would have picked the agency and instead of typing to you, I'd be filling out the application. Instead we'll probably mull the agency decision over and go buy some great books that were recommended to us today. And figure out who we want to do our homestudy too. No matter how you slice that, it's still a 3-4 month process.

I did ask what we're some things that would make them turn down our application. There is nothing that caught my attention. i.e. If you tell the agency that you have no arrests and then they find out later (through finger printing and FBI checks) that when you were 16, you got busted drinking (oops, you forgot about that one!), then they'll automatically dismiss you for lying. But basically as long as the health is good, no troubles with the law, and we pass the homestudy, we're in. I'm pretty positive we're batting 2 for 3 right now. Unless of course we go to the doc for our health exams and find out we have some deadly cancer or something. (Had to throw that in for Jim's benefit!)

Blah, blah, blah... I think I'm rambling now. Must be getting tired.


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1.22.06 - Timing

I've posted a picture of what we understand the timing to be. The boxes show the longest it could be, the red dot is the shortest. Again, this is our understanding. The timing could change, and we'll know more after we go through all the approvals. I put this together just to get an idea of the time frame we were looking at in terms of finances- saving up a ton of money and all that. Click on the image for a view that will actually be readable.

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1.22.06 - What's Next?

So now that we've started getting the word out there, the question "What's next?" keeps coming up.

We've got to gather A LOT of documentation. This is takes a lot of time- you can see why this next step takes 2-4 months alone! Ok, here goes:

Personal Information

• Certified copies of birth certificates for you, your spouse, and any children already living in your home;
• Certified copies of adoption decrees for any adopted children already living in your home;
• Certified copies of your marriage certificate;
• Certified copies of any death certificates for former spouses; and
• Certified copies of any divorce decrees for you and/or your spouse.

Financial Information

• Verification of employment on company letterhead (even if you are self-employed);
• Income verification (usually copies of your federal tax returns for the last three years);
• Proof of life insurance, including the names of beneficiaries;
• Proof of health insurance;
• Verification of all monetary assets on institution letterhead (including checking account, savings account, 401k balance, stocks, money market accounts, mutual funds, etc.);
• Debt information (balances on your credit cards, cars, house, etc.);
• Mortgage or rent information (amount of monthly payment and amount of equity you have if you own your home).

Other Information You Will Need for Your Homestudy

• Results of a recent physical exam;
• Results of a criminal background check;
• Public health inspection if your home has a septic system;
• Fire safety inspection;
• Letter from your veterinarian stating that all your pets are healthy and current on their vaccinations;
• Photographs of you, your spouse, and any children already living in your home;
• Photographs of the front, back, and inside of your home;
• Copy of any previous homestudy (if applicable);
• Written references.

Wow!, huh? That's what we say too. The bummer thing is that when we go to complete our dossier, we're going to have to get a lot of the same documentation all over again. The thing is, for the dossier, it all has to be notarized! That means real certificates- not just copies. It also means standing in line downtown to get them all notarized. Ugh!

Ah well, such is life I suppose.

So that's the next step in a nutshell after handing in our application.

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1.21.06 - We've Decided on a Country!!

It's Kazakhstan!!! :-) We made the decision tonight that we're going to do everything we can to adopt a little girl from Kaz. We're so excited!! We want to go right now! :-)

Here's some info on Kazakhstan as I imagine most people don't know much about the country. Settle down for a history/geography lesson. Information provided is taken from World Partners Adoption website.

Kazakhstan is the second largest country, geographically, to come out of the former USSR and possess enormous untapped natural resources. Oil is abundant, with the world's tenth largest reserves and a plentiful supply of other minerals and metals. It also has considerable agricultural potential as well, as the steppe lands are perfect for livestock and grain production.

Kazakstan is roughly five times the size of France or slightly over one-third the size of the continental United States. It shares borders with China to the East, Russia to the North, Uzbekistan to the West and Kirghizian to the south.

At the end of the 14th century the Kazaks began to appear as a distinct Turkic-speaking people. Living as nomadic shepherds each clan was like a nation unto itself and eventually several of these clans came together to form one Kazak nation, but by 1730 they were already seeking Russian assistance to help in their struggle against Mongolian invaders. As history would show, this turned out to be a mixed blessing. With the communist takeover in 1917, the Soviet Union took the land as State property and under Stalin close to 2 million Kazaks died. After World War Two, so many Russians moved to Kazakstan that the Kazaks became a minority in their own country. Migrating Russians began to threaten the Kazak way of life. As a republic within the USSR (1920-91), Kazakhstan suffered greatly from Stalinist purges, from environmental damage, and saw the ethnic Russian portion of its population rise to 37% while other non-Kazakhs made up almost 20%.

Today much has changed. Russians are still to be seen in large numbers, but Kazakstan is now an independent nation. It still is influenced a great deal by its big brother to the north and it looks like this tendency will increase in the near future. Current issues include the pace of market reform and privatization; fair and free elections and democratic reform; ethnic differences between Russians and Kazakhs; environmental problems; and how to convert the country's abundant energy resources into a better standard of living.

The population of the country is just over 17 million people of which most, if not all speak Russian. Kazak, although the official language, is spoken rarely in day to day living. The population breakdown is Kazak 46%, Russian 34.7%, Ukrainian 4.9%German 3.1% Uzbek 2.3%, Tatar 1.9%, other 7.1% (1996).

Our waiting children are as young as 6months old at the time of placement up to age 10 years! We work in several regions which include a Maternity Hospital and several Baby Houses. The Staff in both the hospital and baby houses are very dedicated to our waiting children and take very good care of them until they find their forever families!

The ethnic background of most of the children available is Asian-Kazakh, however Eurasian and occasionally Russian Caucasian, German, Korean, Tatar and Gypsy children and other ehtnicities are available.

The infants in the Maternity Hospital remain there until they are 6 months old, then they are transfered to a baby house. We try to place them before they are moved from the hospital. In both the hospital and baby house, our children receive specialized care from the doctors and nurses. The Baby houses are actually medical facilities that consist of a staff of Doctors, Nurses, and a diverse team of Specialists. These include Neurologists, Orthopedic Specialists, Speech Pathologists, Physical Therapists, and Teachers. The children are evaluated on a daily basis in terms of their medical health and overall development. A common day in the baby house consists of music lessons, massage therapy, physical education, play therapy, and speech therapy.

Kazakhstan is known for it's high standard in child care, and the baby houses are impressive in terms of cleanliness and genuine love for the children. Our facilitator is a neurologist who has an excellent rapport with the baby house doctors, and with this unique team of experts, we are able to gather the most comprehensive information available about the child or children you wish to adopt. Photographs, videos and medical reports will also be available for your review.

The children, as mentioned above, are very well cared for in Kazakhstan. The adult/child ratio in the baby house is 1:6. The children remain with their own age group (usually 10-12 children) and each group always has at least two caregivers. This stability in their environment facilitates their emotional development and ability to form attachments with their caregivers.

So that's some background info for you on Kazakhstan, the culture, and the children. What's next? Now we submit our application to our agency of choice, apply for immigration clearance, and sign up for the home study. Just a note- any time during this process, we could be rejected for whatever reason. Just because we picked a country or decided to adopt by no means makes it a "sure thing."


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1.21.06 Playing Around

Nothing new to write today. I am just trying to figure out how to add photos when the need arises. Jim is a graphic artist and has been teaching me how to make the pictures look pretty cool. Of course, everything I have shown here was created in about 10 minutes- hardly the work of an expert, but not bad for a novice!! :-) I used a picture of Jazmynn and Bitty because they're so cute when they cuddle together.


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1.19.06 - Narrowing Down the Countries

Well we decided to pick our country. Our rationale is that by picking our country, we can then pick our agency. Once we pick our agency, we can do our homestudy through someone our agency has worked with in the past for ease of process sake. This assumes that the agency we choose is out of state. If they were in state, they would do our homestudy as well. We don't absolutely have to do it this way, but it gives me a piece of mind to have some of the ambiguity removed. I like having a plan. :-)

Since I (Jen) have been doing all the research, I compiled a bunch of information and gave it to Jim to read over. I imagine it will take him a few days as there are some great blogs out there. My favorite was so good it was like reading a book- I couldn't put it down. I think it took me two hours from start to finish.

I've got two countries in mind, but I'll refrain from mentioning them for now. Who knows- after Jim does his reading, he may come up with a completely different country. We shall see.

I've become addicted to the blogs. I just keep reading and reading more information. Once Jim started reading some of what I passed on to him, his interest level spiked even more. I'm really excited to see what he comes back to me with.



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1.15.06 Part II - Questions You Have

So now I suppose you have a lot of questions: Why? From where? How long? Tell me the details! :-) All right, I'll go back to the beginning. One day in early 2002 I was at work and I don't even remember the circumstances of the day. What I do remember though was that during lunch, I just felt this overwhelming voice speaking to me and putting the words "Adopt a little girl" on my heart- and in my brain, and into the very tingling of my finger tips. Now like most people I thought this voice and reaction was crazy, but nonetheless I researched international adoption during lunch that day. I didn't say anything to Jim. I just kept thinking about it and looking at websites. Finally it got to the point where I couldn't contain myself any longer. I sat Jim down and I intro'd the conversation with, "Please don't laugh at me, and please don't say no right away. Just think about it. Please." He listened and he didn't laugh. He didn't give an answer right away. The biggest thing he had to think about as I'm sure most people who adopt think about, and even the grandma's and grandpa's to-be have to think about: "Can I love an adopted child like I could a biological child?" It didn't take Jim very long to come to the conclusion of YES!!

So we started sending away for information packets and birth certificates and marriage certificates. We researched and even went to a meeting at one of the local agencies. We decided if we were going to do this, we would need room for a child so we started looking around for bigger houses. And of course a bigger yard for our dogs. Ok, ok, the bigger house and bigger yard were both for our dogs, but we also moved because of our desire to adopt.

After that, three years went by. It wasn't that the desire wasn't there, it was financial issues as well as remodeling projects as well as... Well you know how life sometimes interrupts important plans. :-) I truly believe we just weren't in the right place at during those past years. Jim and I have done a lot of growing in the past few years. Of course we brought it up every now and then and we talked about it. It was always "when we adopt" not "if we adopt." We kept this from everyone. No one really knew about it. It's a very scary process. Much like I would imagine trying to get pregnant is. You want to tell people you're starting your family planning, but really that's just too intimate and besides, "What if nothing happens???" Same thing here.

Except now we've decided we're going to go for it!!! :-)

Isn't all that ambiguity I mentioned just a moment ago still here though? (I knew you were going to ask that!) Well yes, it is of course. But for us, nothing will be certain until "Gotcha Day" which is when we will bring our child home, where as when a pregnant woman starts showing- she pretty much goes public. So we have to draw the line in the sand somewhere- or to continue the similarity- the day we "conceive." We decided that was decision day. Decision to formally start the process.

So what were some of the other questions you had? Oh yes- from where? Don't know yet. We're still looking at a whole bunch of countries. We won't have to formally choose until after we go through the homestudy and are ready to choose an agency. What's a homestudy? A homestudy is where we fill out hundreds of documents stating our reasons, our complete list of employers, our letters of reference, fingerprints that go to the FBI (no joke), criminal reports in any Police department anywhere, child abuse records, how much we make a year, etc, etc. Every aspect of our life that can be probed into will be probed into. And to top it off, we'll have a social worker visit us at our home to talk with us in person to determine if we will be fit parents, if our home is a good place to raise a child, if we have adequate living area for the child, what type of health insurance we'll be able to provide, who will take care of the child once we bring him/her home, and the list goes on and on.

The next question you asked ;-) is how long? It depends on many things some of which we can control, most of which we can't. Pulling together all those documents and getting them notarized takes times. The home study takes time. Each country has a certain amount of time to translate the documents provide us with a referral or letter of invitation. Essentially from the day we fill out our application from to the day we bring our child home could be anywhere between 8 months and 24 months.




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1.15.06 Part I - January 14- Decision Day

After 4 years of having the desire to adopt on our hearts, we finally made the decision to start the process. And oh what a long process it will be. There are so many aspects to it all, it makes my head swim!

That is one of the reasons for this blog though. We wanted a place to capture our thoughts as well as keep our friends and family up to date. Initially this will be a little chaotic until I figure out how I want to do this and what to share.

I still have to wrap my mind around how I will organize it. With blogs, the first entry starts at the bottom of the page and the most previous entry is at the top. Natural human tendency is to start at the top of the page and read down though. How to organize it in such a way that is in keeping with the technical capabilities of the program yet still makes sense to the average person will be key here.

We would like this post to be a place where family and friends can find out the latest news on what we're doing. A place where inclusion is the name of the game. I read a book titled Adoption is a Family Affair which is written to family members and friends of the couple that is planning to adopt and there was a quote in there that made a lot of sense to me, but I also took it one step further. Let me give you the quote first. "Treat waiting adopters as expectant-- giggle and fuss! Maree remarked, 'If I were six months pregnant, people would be drooling over me, but since I'm expecting by adoption, I get so much nonchalance, shock, and plain old rudeness. Adoption is sometimes treated as not being 'real' (and, of course, with all the hopes and fears, some of us hold back in our excitement) therefore, it would be helpful for those around us to understand our need to be treated as if we are expecting, or pregnant by adoption.'" That being said, neither of us have felt the "shock" or "rudeness" that some people feel so please put your mind at ease if you thought I was directing those comments at anyone specifically. The point of that is the next step to which I took that quote was that if we were literally pregnant instead of pregnant by adoption, we'd be sharing those moments with you! We'd be showing our ultrasound pictures off like proud parents-to-be. We'd be telling you horror stories of morning sickness and weight gain and sympathy weight and weird cravings and when the baby starts to kick, and yes, even with some of our closer friends, we'd tell more of the intimate details of cramps and sleepless nights and number of bathroom runs per day.

Well adoption is the same thing only different. As I wrote in an e-mail earlier today, being pregnant literally or being pregnant through adoption requires a lot of waiting, a lot of praying, a lot of wondering what the baby will be like, a lot of anticipation, a lot of fear, a lot of excitement... It doesn't matter if the baby comes from within or from an external source. The emotions are all there just as poignantly in either situation.

We'd like to share that with you, and I am taking a leap of faith (though I believe it to be a miniscule leap knowing all of you) that you are interested in sharing with us.


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