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All the entries below were moved over so no need to read them here. Please check us out over at Convergent Paths!!
Thursday
Sunday
7.23.06 - Last Post at Blogger
Hey Everyone! This is our last post here at blogger. We're moving to our new site. If you don't have the URL, feel free to e-mail me and I'll send it to you.
Wednesday
7.12.06 - First Apostille!
We got our first Apostille today! Woo hoo! It's not that big of a deal, but considering 2 months ago I didn't even know what the word meant, 7 months ago I had never heard the word, and regardless of my knowledge (or lack thereof), the word is not even in the dictionary! (I had the devil of a time figuring out what it actually meant.) Do you know what a notary is? It's a a public officer who attests or certifies writings to make them authentic. In other words, in our case they prove that our signatures are true and accurate and not a forgery. Before I sign a document, I have to have a notary witness my signature and put her (his) stamp on it and sign it also. An Apostille comes from the Secretary of the State of the state the notary is issued in saying that the notary is a true and legal notary of that state. The same is true for state certifications.
So for instance in my case, I was born in NY state so I requested certified birth certificates. They've got to have the state seal pressed into them. Once I received my birth certificates, I had to write a letter to the Secretary of State of NY asking for an Apostille on the authentication of my birth certificates. I sent both my birth certificates and the letter back to NY state (because heaven forbid one office does both things), they processed my request and sent both my birth certificates back each with their own Apostille attached. It's simply a piece of paper stating what I mentioned before.
So I bet that's waaaaaay more than you ever wanted/needed to know about Apostille's huh? We've got to do that for EVERY document though. So I sent Jim's birth certificates off to the Secretary of State of Texas. I'll have to send our FBI letter to the SECSTATE of West Virginia, etc, etc. And of course all the documents we collected here in our very own MN.
Ok, now that you're probably fast asleep, time to switch subjects. Contract.
We got our contract in! We're now legally bound to WPA and they to us.
That's it on that one. There's a sorta funny story that goes with it, but it's not really funny, and it's rather tedious, so... That's it on the contract.
We've already started feeling the "Nesting Syndrome" I'm afraid. We stopped at Babies-R-Us on Friday night, more on a whim than anything. We went out to dinner and we were relatively close so afterwards we decided to go. We were mostly looking at cribs.
Ok, let me back up and tell you why we're already looking at cribs. The average time to get our travel dates will be March-April. Life is never easy so I'm expecting June or July. But! absolute best case - everything lines up perfectly and no one experiences a delay (ha, ha) is January. Well even though I don't believe we'll be anywhere close to January, I sure would hate to be caught off guard. It wouldn't be much fun if all of a sudden we knew the baby was coming and we had to rush to pack and haphazardly throw a nursery together right? Ok, so then the next piece of knowledge was that sometimes it can take cribs 2-3 months to be delivered. (We belong to a discount club so that's why the long delivery dates.) Well we don't want to have to set it up in December as we'll be busy doing other things. That means November. Well that means we need to know what we want to order by September. That gives us about a month and a half to shop around, look at styles, colors, read Consumerreports.org and epinions.com on products, etc. So... perfect timing! :-)
Yep, so maybe I'm a little planful and organized.
Ok, ok, back to shopping. So we looked at cribs and everything else. We found the perfect baby entertainment system- what are they called?- those things you put them in and they can stand and wheel themselves around and have a whole bunch of toy things in the tray area? I don't know. And Jim found himself the pack-n-play he wants. And there was the cutest little girl dress!! But it was white and who's crazy enough to make kids clothes using white fabric??!? Even I know better and I've never had a kid!
So then that evening I was looking at cribs online and found one I really liked, and two stores here in the cities carries it so Jim and I went to BabyUSA in the morning and looked at a whole bunch of cribs. Actually too many because after awhile, they all look the same. Oh, we're also looking at the "Lifestyle" kind. It's a crib that can be turned into a toddler bed, and then the front and back of the crib actually become the headboard and footboard to a full size bed. That seems rather attractive- buy something that will last for years rather than just trying to sell it on Ebay a year later.
Ok, I'm still not to the good part of the story. See- I'm bad at telling stories- I drag them out and tell too much info. Anyway, I mentioned two places had this crib. Well I purposely asked Jim to drive to BabyUSA first because it was bigger and I called and knew they had a floor model of the one I was interested. But the second store was called Baby on Grand. Now Grand Ave is located in St. Paul and it's one of those streets with moderately big houses on them (not mansions, but not tiny either) that were built in the late 1800's, early 1900's. This is a quaint part of town and in recent years, the houses are being bought out by small businesses who are looking for a small, cozy, trendy place/look to sell their wares or services. All in all, Grand Ave is one of those streets that appeals to all ages- you have the Grand 'ole Creamery making ice cream every day, bakeries, bread shops, chocolatiers, etc, all in beautifully painted Victorian era houses with beautiful flowers in the front yards and hanging baskets on the lamp posts. So I saw that Baby on Grand was... well... on Grand and knew it was going to be a smaller store- after all it is in an old house. But it also said it was a specialty store and that piqued my curiosity. So I convinced Jim to go to Grand and Jim had a blast. There was this lovely girl there who was a nanny and an aunt so she knew something about kids, and she knew her products well. She helped us out so much and spent so much time with us. The other thing we're looking at is strollers. Not for the same timing reason as above, but just because it's one of the more expensive items to get. It's not something I'd register for just because of the cost. But anyway, Jim had so much fun looking at all the really cool strollers and all the different features. We got to play with them and fold them and unfold them, lift them for weight comparisons, and click and unclick car seats. It was really a great experience. Just because of the customer service, we'll go back. Plus they just had really great stuff there. I can't even describe the store. Between all the merchandise and people, one could barely move (which I abhor that type of situation), but it was quite bearable. Just a fun place to go.
I did learn that one of the best places to go for a date (with your spouse- I don't recommend it for those just starting to date) is a baby store. The ratio of men to women is completely 1:1. At all three of the baby stores, all we saw were couples. And of course they're all excited and happy and lovey-dovey and because of that everyone is so friendly and full of smiles to each other. Quite the lovely place to go if you need a relationship pick-me-up. :-)
At any rate we had fun on Saturday. We were both ready to start buying things and bringing them home, but we know we gotta hold off for awhile and really focus on getting the dossier done.
It is amazing though how when you tell people you need paperwork XYZ because you're adopting, they become much more friendly and full of smiles. It's quite wonderful.
Well anyway... I'm writing more for myself than for any updates, so I'll end here for tonight.
So for instance in my case, I was born in NY state so I requested certified birth certificates. They've got to have the state seal pressed into them. Once I received my birth certificates, I had to write a letter to the Secretary of State of NY asking for an Apostille on the authentication of my birth certificates. I sent both my birth certificates and the letter back to NY state (because heaven forbid one office does both things), they processed my request and sent both my birth certificates back each with their own Apostille attached. It's simply a piece of paper stating what I mentioned before.
So I bet that's waaaaaay more than you ever wanted/needed to know about Apostille's huh? We've got to do that for EVERY document though. So I sent Jim's birth certificates off to the Secretary of State of Texas. I'll have to send our FBI letter to the SECSTATE of West Virginia, etc, etc. And of course all the documents we collected here in our very own MN.
Ok, now that you're probably fast asleep, time to switch subjects. Contract.
We got our contract in! We're now legally bound to WPA and they to us.
That's it on that one. There's a sorta funny story that goes with it, but it's not really funny, and it's rather tedious, so... That's it on the contract.
We've already started feeling the "Nesting Syndrome" I'm afraid. We stopped at Babies-R-Us on Friday night, more on a whim than anything. We went out to dinner and we were relatively close so afterwards we decided to go. We were mostly looking at cribs.
Ok, let me back up and tell you why we're already looking at cribs. The average time to get our travel dates will be March-April. Life is never easy so I'm expecting June or July. But! absolute best case - everything lines up perfectly and no one experiences a delay (ha, ha) is January. Well even though I don't believe we'll be anywhere close to January, I sure would hate to be caught off guard. It wouldn't be much fun if all of a sudden we knew the baby was coming and we had to rush to pack and haphazardly throw a nursery together right? Ok, so then the next piece of knowledge was that sometimes it can take cribs 2-3 months to be delivered. (We belong to a discount club so that's why the long delivery dates.) Well we don't want to have to set it up in December as we'll be busy doing other things. That means November. Well that means we need to know what we want to order by September. That gives us about a month and a half to shop around, look at styles, colors, read Consumerreports.org and epinions.com on products, etc. So... perfect timing! :-)
Yep, so maybe I'm a little planful and organized.
Ok, ok, back to shopping. So we looked at cribs and everything else. We found the perfect baby entertainment system- what are they called?- those things you put them in and they can stand and wheel themselves around and have a whole bunch of toy things in the tray area? I don't know. And Jim found himself the pack-n-play he wants. And there was the cutest little girl dress!! But it was white and who's crazy enough to make kids clothes using white fabric??!? Even I know better and I've never had a kid!
So then that evening I was looking at cribs online and found one I really liked, and two stores here in the cities carries it so Jim and I went to BabyUSA in the morning and looked at a whole bunch of cribs. Actually too many because after awhile, they all look the same. Oh, we're also looking at the "Lifestyle" kind. It's a crib that can be turned into a toddler bed, and then the front and back of the crib actually become the headboard and footboard to a full size bed. That seems rather attractive- buy something that will last for years rather than just trying to sell it on Ebay a year later.
Ok, I'm still not to the good part of the story. See- I'm bad at telling stories- I drag them out and tell too much info. Anyway, I mentioned two places had this crib. Well I purposely asked Jim to drive to BabyUSA first because it was bigger and I called and knew they had a floor model of the one I was interested. But the second store was called Baby on Grand. Now Grand Ave is located in St. Paul and it's one of those streets with moderately big houses on them (not mansions, but not tiny either) that were built in the late 1800's, early 1900's. This is a quaint part of town and in recent years, the houses are being bought out by small businesses who are looking for a small, cozy, trendy place/look to sell their wares or services. All in all, Grand Ave is one of those streets that appeals to all ages- you have the Grand 'ole Creamery making ice cream every day, bakeries, bread shops, chocolatiers, etc, all in beautifully painted Victorian era houses with beautiful flowers in the front yards and hanging baskets on the lamp posts. So I saw that Baby on Grand was... well... on Grand and knew it was going to be a smaller store- after all it is in an old house. But it also said it was a specialty store and that piqued my curiosity. So I convinced Jim to go to Grand and Jim had a blast. There was this lovely girl there who was a nanny and an aunt so she knew something about kids, and she knew her products well. She helped us out so much and spent so much time with us. The other thing we're looking at is strollers. Not for the same timing reason as above, but just because it's one of the more expensive items to get. It's not something I'd register for just because of the cost. But anyway, Jim had so much fun looking at all the really cool strollers and all the different features. We got to play with them and fold them and unfold them, lift them for weight comparisons, and click and unclick car seats. It was really a great experience. Just because of the customer service, we'll go back. Plus they just had really great stuff there. I can't even describe the store. Between all the merchandise and people, one could barely move (which I abhor that type of situation), but it was quite bearable. Just a fun place to go.
I did learn that one of the best places to go for a date (with your spouse- I don't recommend it for those just starting to date) is a baby store. The ratio of men to women is completely 1:1. At all three of the baby stores, all we saw were couples. And of course they're all excited and happy and lovey-dovey and because of that everyone is so friendly and full of smiles to each other. Quite the lovely place to go if you need a relationship pick-me-up. :-)
At any rate we had fun on Saturday. We were both ready to start buying things and bringing them home, but we know we gotta hold off for awhile and really focus on getting the dossier done.
It is amazing though how when you tell people you need paperwork XYZ because you're adopting, they become much more friendly and full of smiles. It's quite wonderful.
Well anyway... I'm writing more for myself than for any updates, so I'll end here for tonight.
Thursday
6.29.06 - Busy Fingerprinting week
This week has been a busy one. I came back from Switzerland and France to find we had received our contract. Woo hoo! On Tuesday we had our fingerprints taken at the Orono PD and we had our second, third, and fourth home study visits (more on how that can possibly be later). Wednesday we sent off a packet to the FBI so they can provide us with a clearance letter. Thursday I sent off all the remainder of the documents for the home study (police reports, medical insurance, health forms, etc), and we had our finger prints taken again for the BCIS (Citizenship & Immigration Services which is a part of the US Department of Homeland Security).
I also ordered new certified marriage certificates and birth certificates, but that's not really of interest.
I called Orono (our town) Police on Monday looking to set up a fingerprint appointment. The lady and I talked times and all the times I gave her that both Jim and I already had available because we were already taking off of work didn't work so I finally said, "Ok, what's the next "first thing in the morning" appointment you have available?" She said, "Well... first thing? How early?" My ears perk up. "Doesn't matter. As early as you can go." She said, "Well how about 7:15am tomorrow? The office isn't open and the doors are locked, but I'll look for you when I get in and I'll bring you on back." Sweet! So she brought us back and actually gave us a mini tour too. VERY nice! All before the place actually even opened up. All the other police officers were just getting in too.
So that was Monday morning and then Tuesday morning. Back to Monday evening though. So I came home and found an e-mail from our homestudy lady regarding our visit the next morning saying, "I'd like to tweak things. I'd like to do 45 minutes with one of you, then 30 minutes together, then 45 with the other." Oh my gosh. I think Jim and my stress levels went soaring high. "What?" "Why does she want to split us up?" "Did we do something bad before?" "Did she think we lied together last time?" Etc., etc. So I showed up first and how we handle stress came up so I gave her this example and her reply was, "Oh my gosh, I'm soooo sorry, that was not the intent at all. I found out that Kaz likes to have more than 2 visits so if I broke this visit out 3 ways, I could say we had a total of 4 while still being efficient with your time." Ohhhhhhhh. :-) So then I asked about what her assessment was and she said that we were smooth sailing. We were going to make great parents, we have a beautiful home, etc. etc. It was really quite moving. She asked us to describe ourselves and then each other (during our alone visits) and when she had us together, she said, "You know what? Neither of you mentioned this word, but I'm going to put it in because I believe you really are 'conscientious.'" I've heard the word and I thought I knew what it meant, but the way she used was almost reverent. It was definitely a word of honor to her, so I decided to look it up when I got home to see if I should feel honored that she was bestowing this word upon us. The exact definition is:
Wednesday I made a pact with myself to get something done on the paperchase each night, so I worked a bit on stuff. I completed all the stuff needed for the agency to complete the homestudy. Right now it's completely in their hands (she has two weeks to write up the draft), and then she'll send it to us and we and our adoption agency will review it.
Today (Thursday) we got our fingerprints taken again for the I-600A form. So the last fingerprints went to the FBI for clearance. These ones went to the BCIS to go on to who knows where. I don't really need to know- as long as nothing shows up in either of our files. Which of course we know there is nothing unless someone snuck into our homes, made wax copies of our fingers while we were sleeping and went off and completed a bunch of crimes with... yeah... overreactive imagination.
So that's the deal for this week. I have two pages of checklists of documents we have to get. Jim and I divided them up so he gets to work on some and I get to work on some.
Jim is also working on our new website. We'll be "moving" pretty soon. In fact, given the positivity of the homestudy, we're ready to go public with our news (passed the first trimester if you will), but I want to wait till he gets the new website up and running so I can show that off too. It's COOL! We both worked on it together- I found the picture, he came up with the name, I came up with the format, and he did all the backend work. I helped by moving the entries in this website over. That kind of thing. His backend work is definitely the bulk of the work though. I know he's spent two weekends on it so far and it's not complete yet.
That's the scoop for this week.
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I also ordered new certified marriage certificates and birth certificates, but that's not really of interest.
I called Orono (our town) Police on Monday looking to set up a fingerprint appointment. The lady and I talked times and all the times I gave her that both Jim and I already had available because we were already taking off of work didn't work so I finally said, "Ok, what's the next "first thing in the morning" appointment you have available?" She said, "Well... first thing? How early?" My ears perk up. "Doesn't matter. As early as you can go." She said, "Well how about 7:15am tomorrow? The office isn't open and the doors are locked, but I'll look for you when I get in and I'll bring you on back." Sweet! So she brought us back and actually gave us a mini tour too. VERY nice! All before the place actually even opened up. All the other police officers were just getting in too.
So that was Monday morning and then Tuesday morning. Back to Monday evening though. So I came home and found an e-mail from our homestudy lady regarding our visit the next morning saying, "I'd like to tweak things. I'd like to do 45 minutes with one of you, then 30 minutes together, then 45 with the other." Oh my gosh. I think Jim and my stress levels went soaring high. "What?" "Why does she want to split us up?" "Did we do something bad before?" "Did she think we lied together last time?" Etc., etc. So I showed up first and how we handle stress came up so I gave her this example and her reply was, "Oh my gosh, I'm soooo sorry, that was not the intent at all. I found out that Kaz likes to have more than 2 visits so if I broke this visit out 3 ways, I could say we had a total of 4 while still being efficient with your time." Ohhhhhhhh. :-) So then I asked about what her assessment was and she said that we were smooth sailing. We were going to make great parents, we have a beautiful home, etc. etc. It was really quite moving. She asked us to describe ourselves and then each other (during our alone visits) and when she had us together, she said, "You know what? Neither of you mentioned this word, but I'm going to put it in because I believe you really are 'conscientious.'" I've heard the word and I thought I knew what it meant, but the way she used was almost reverent. It was definitely a word of honor to her, so I decided to look it up when I got home to see if I should feel honored that she was bestowing this word upon us. The exact definition is:
- governed by or conforming to the dictates of the sense or of the moral goodness or blameworthiness of one's own conduct, intentions, or character together with a feeling of obligation to do right or be good 1: having moral integrity : acting in strict regard for what is considered right or proper 2 : punctiliously exact
Wednesday I made a pact with myself to get something done on the paperchase each night, so I worked a bit on stuff. I completed all the stuff needed for the agency to complete the homestudy. Right now it's completely in their hands (she has two weeks to write up the draft), and then she'll send it to us and we and our adoption agency will review it.
Today (Thursday) we got our fingerprints taken again for the I-600A form. So the last fingerprints went to the FBI for clearance. These ones went to the BCIS to go on to who knows where. I don't really need to know- as long as nothing shows up in either of our files. Which of course we know there is nothing unless someone snuck into our homes, made wax copies of our fingers while we were sleeping and went off and completed a bunch of crimes with... yeah... overreactive imagination.
So that's the deal for this week. I have two pages of checklists of documents we have to get. Jim and I divided them up so he gets to work on some and I get to work on some.
Jim is also working on our new website. We'll be "moving" pretty soon. In fact, given the positivity of the homestudy, we're ready to go public with our news (passed the first trimester if you will), but I want to wait till he gets the new website up and running so I can show that off too. It's COOL! We both worked on it together- I found the picture, he came up with the name, I came up with the format, and he did all the backend work. I helped by moving the entries in this website over. That kind of thing. His backend work is definitely the bulk of the work though. I know he's spent two weekends on it so far and it's not complete yet.
That's the scoop for this week.
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6.15.06 - Contract and First Home Study
Today was a busy day on the adoption home front. We got an e-mail from our agency saying they were sending out the contract. Once we fill out and then send back the contract (we have 30 days in which to do this), the clock starts ticking. Typically from the time WPA gets the contract, it will be about 7 months until we get our referral. Then travel is typically 3 weeks to 2 months after that. So say we get the contract turned in the middle of July, we'll be looking at getting a referral in the Feb-March time frame (average- could be sooner, could be later) and then traveling somewhere in the March- May months.
The other part of today was that we had our first home study visit! It was one of the more different experiences I've ever had. In a way, it was a lot like a job interview. She asked questions, we had to answer. Only the questions were like none other- describe how you grew up; what were your parents like- strict, fair, mean... It was quite interesting to say the least. We have one more appointment with her at her office when I get back from Switzerland. Today was 2 hours and the next meeting should be two hours also. She was a very nice woman though and it was pleasant to be conversing with her- which I suppose means she's successful in her profession. :-) Hopefully we'll find out what the "verdict" is in a couple of weeks.
Only other piece of inconsequential information is that we set up a FedEx account. It is for all the over night mailing back and forth that we'll be doing. FedEx is apparently the most reliable. The other nice thing is, if the agency needs to mail us something and we want to get it quickly, we can just give them our account number and they'll overnight. Gotta like that part.
We HAVE to get going on our dossier though. If that word is new to you, it's pronounced dos (like the operating system) ee-ay. If there's one thing you can do out there, it's to help keep our feet to the fire on collecting the documents. The quicker we do that, the sooner we can travel. Keep us accountable and ask, "How's the paper chase?" Nothing will embarrass me more than having to tell you, "Same as it was the last time we talked."
Stay tuned and thanks for the prayers!
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The other part of today was that we had our first home study visit! It was one of the more different experiences I've ever had. In a way, it was a lot like a job interview. She asked questions, we had to answer. Only the questions were like none other- describe how you grew up; what were your parents like- strict, fair, mean... It was quite interesting to say the least. We have one more appointment with her at her office when I get back from Switzerland. Today was 2 hours and the next meeting should be two hours also. She was a very nice woman though and it was pleasant to be conversing with her- which I suppose means she's successful in her profession. :-) Hopefully we'll find out what the "verdict" is in a couple of weeks.
Only other piece of inconsequential information is that we set up a FedEx account. It is for all the over night mailing back and forth that we'll be doing. FedEx is apparently the most reliable. The other nice thing is, if the agency needs to mail us something and we want to get it quickly, we can just give them our account number and they'll overnight. Gotta like that part.
We HAVE to get going on our dossier though. If that word is new to you, it's pronounced dos (like the operating system) ee-ay. If there's one thing you can do out there, it's to help keep our feet to the fire on collecting the documents. The quicker we do that, the sooner we can travel. Keep us accountable and ask, "How's the paper chase?" Nothing will embarrass me more than having to tell you, "Same as it was the last time we talked."
Stay tuned and thanks for the prayers!
Next
Back
Tuesday
5.30.06 - WPA has the application
Holy cow!! We received an e-mail from WPA today (Tues) stating they received our application! I snail mailed it Friday, nothing happens on Sunday, and Monday was Memorial Day. And WPA is in Georgia!! I don't think I overnighted it. I just told the postman, "Regular postage please." Wow!
Anyway, it was a very nice introductory e-mail. Probably no big deal for any of you reading, but it made us pretty excited.
Hi Jim and Jennifer,
Welcome to World Partners Adoption, we received your application and we will begin processing it immediately. We are looking forward to working with you and to helping you bring home a new addition to your family.
I am sending out your Kazakhstan Program Manual via Priority Mail; you should receive it in a few days. It will answer many of your current questions and undoubtedly create a few more! It will give you a clear idea of our policies and expectations and explain in detail what you need to be working on at each point in the process. It will also overwhelm you! It is a 3-ring binder packed with information about all aspects of your pending adoption. Our advice is simple; take things "step-by-step," reading each section as you approach that part of the process. Certainly we can't keep you from reading ahead, but if you do, it may confuse rather than help at this early point in time and our job is to keep your level of confusion and frustration down to a minimum!
Your coordinator, Mary, will be setting up an appointment to speak with you about the process and to go over all of your questions about the information you will be receiving. If she does not contact you soon after you receive the packet, please call her to set up this conference, as it is important to insure you have a complete understanding of the process.
This journey can seem overwhelming at many times and it is important to all of us at World Partners that you receive a high level of support from our agency throughout the entire process. Please work closely with Mary, as she will help to guide you and keep you focused on the tasks at hand. Cindy and myself are always here for you as well so don't ever hesitate to pick up the phone.
The more you read and the more questions you ask during this time the better prepared you will be for all aspects of adopting your child. When you receive the manual it will answer many of the questions you have and give you an understanding of how things will work from this point forward. Thank you for placing your trust in us, I am sure you will not be disappointed.
Best Regards,
Jim Harding
World Partners Adoption
The next exciting thing was knowing that we are now on their official "adoptive family" list (or whatever they call it) because a couple hours after that, Mary, our coordinator, e-mailed all the couples she is working with on a document change for the dossier. Blah, blah, blah. Again, probably not one of those details you guys care about, but to me, it just indicated I was "in." I made the e-mail distribution list.
Yesterday was a great day. We went to Mom and Dad Matasovsky's for a Memorial barbecue and I spent most of the time with my almost 6 mo old niece and Steph (sister-in-law). It was great to talk to a new mom. She had lots of thoughts and ideas and best of all- she listened to me ramble on and on! :-)
I think that's one of the hardest things about all of this is there is no one to talk to. I don't mean you guys because you all know (for future readers, the updates of this blog are only being sent to immediate family and very close friends at this point in time), but we don't want to "go public" until we pass the homestudy. That limits what I talk to who about. And Dad, while I can't even begin to tell you how much your quick e-mails and prayers mean to me, I know researching the difference between a ring sling and a mei tai (two different types of baby carriers) is not top on your list. :-)
So anyway, it was really nice to talk to Steph (a new mom) yesterday.
We're also starting to think of names, so if you've got a suggestion, throw it out there! Sure, why not? We'll listen to ideas and suggestions. I'm keeping a little journal with a list of all the names that catch our fancy. I'll warn you up front that we won't tell you what we choose until it's either a done deal or until we just can't hold it in because we found the most "perfect" name (the more realistic choice as Jim and I just can't seem to keep any exciting news to ourselves), but I'm definitely open to suggestions. I have realized already that I need to have about 22 baby girls and about 16 baby boys just to utilize all the names I really like so far. Given my finances, I can't adopt that many, and given my 31 years, I can't birth that many either so I'm left with narrowing down the options.
Picking a name this early might sound really silly (it does to me partly) and especially because the name we pick, might not go to our referral. What does that mean? Ok, say we choose the name Sally (which is not on our list). We start getting ready for Sally's arrival (assuming we pass the home study) and instead of saying, "our little girl" we actually start calling her Sally. Ok, so then we get the referral. We will get a picture of her, maybe a video. We'll get her medicals and work with an international adoption doctor here at the UofM to determine if she's healthy. So then we decide to accept the referral. Now we have a face to go with the name. Sally all of a sudden becomes someone specific. We call her Sally when we talk to each other, we look at pictures of Sally. Ok, so a month later we get to Kaz. "Sally" is gone. Kaz law states that if a Kaz citizen wants to adopt, he/she gets first preference. Meaning the baby house will do their best to hold a referral for us, but if a Kazakhstani walks in and sees our "Sally, " that person can legally adopt her. Now does that mean we fly back home with no baby? No. There are no instances of that happening in WPA. All that means is that we now get a different baby girl. That process is what's called "losing a referral." WPA places 120 babies a year from Kaz and they have only had 4 lost referrals EVER (and again, 0 instances of anyone leaving the country without a baby), but what does that do to my heart and my emotions if I now have a face to go with the name and she's not ours afterall? If I'm the less than 1% who loses a referral, do I name the next baby Sally? Or do I let the name Sally go with the face, and choose a new name for our new little girl? Or is the <1% not worth worrying about? But anyway, as to the choosing of the name... I'm simply tired of calling her "our girl" or "our little girl." It would be nice to have a name to call her. Otherwise we'll all get home and we'll still call her Girl. :-) So yeah, we're rocking and rolling on the process- do we get excited about the name and pick it now (now being in like 0-5 months) or wait for like 8-10 months to go by?
Listen to me!! I'm talking about all this as if the homestudy is a done deal!! :-) We could use as many prayers as you guys are willing to give on that part (and we'll definitely keep you updated on that), but on the other hand, I do have a sense of peace about all this. Maybe I shouldn't say that out loud, but I do kind of. I just have a feeling that this will be a rather smooth and timely process. "Timely" is still relative of course as I'm counting on a year.
I should probably stop typing while I'm ahead- although I think that was long ago. I really only signed on to type the "Holy cow, they got it already!" line. Funny how I guess I had more to say than just that.
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Anyway, it was a very nice introductory e-mail. Probably no big deal for any of you reading, but it made us pretty excited.
Hi Jim and Jennifer,
Welcome to World Partners Adoption, we received your application and we will begin processing it immediately. We are looking forward to working with you and to helping you bring home a new addition to your family.
I am sending out your Kazakhstan Program Manual via Priority Mail; you should receive it in a few days. It will answer many of your current questions and undoubtedly create a few more! It will give you a clear idea of our policies and expectations and explain in detail what you need to be working on at each point in the process. It will also overwhelm you! It is a 3-ring binder packed with information about all aspects of your pending adoption. Our advice is simple; take things "step-by-step," reading each section as you approach that part of the process. Certainly we can't keep you from reading ahead, but if you do, it may confuse rather than help at this early point in time and our job is to keep your level of confusion and frustration down to a minimum!
Your coordinator, Mary, will be setting up an appointment to speak with you about the process and to go over all of your questions about the information you will be receiving. If she does not contact you soon after you receive the packet, please call her to set up this conference, as it is important to insure you have a complete understanding of the process.
This journey can seem overwhelming at many times and it is important to all of us at World Partners that you receive a high level of support from our agency throughout the entire process. Please work closely with Mary, as she will help to guide you and keep you focused on the tasks at hand. Cindy and myself are always here for you as well so don't ever hesitate to pick up the phone.
The more you read and the more questions you ask during this time the better prepared you will be for all aspects of adopting your child. When you receive the manual it will answer many of the questions you have and give you an understanding of how things will work from this point forward. Thank you for placing your trust in us, I am sure you will not be disappointed.
Best Regards,
Jim Harding
World Partners Adoption
The next exciting thing was knowing that we are now on their official "adoptive family" list (or whatever they call it) because a couple hours after that, Mary, our coordinator, e-mailed all the couples she is working with on a document change for the dossier. Blah, blah, blah. Again, probably not one of those details you guys care about, but to me, it just indicated I was "in." I made the e-mail distribution list.
Yesterday was a great day. We went to Mom and Dad Matasovsky's for a Memorial barbecue and I spent most of the time with my almost 6 mo old niece and Steph (sister-in-law). It was great to talk to a new mom. She had lots of thoughts and ideas and best of all- she listened to me ramble on and on! :-)
I think that's one of the hardest things about all of this is there is no one to talk to. I don't mean you guys because you all know (for future readers, the updates of this blog are only being sent to immediate family and very close friends at this point in time), but we don't want to "go public" until we pass the homestudy. That limits what I talk to who about. And Dad, while I can't even begin to tell you how much your quick e-mails and prayers mean to me, I know researching the difference between a ring sling and a mei tai (two different types of baby carriers) is not top on your list. :-)
So anyway, it was really nice to talk to Steph (a new mom) yesterday.
We're also starting to think of names, so if you've got a suggestion, throw it out there! Sure, why not? We'll listen to ideas and suggestions. I'm keeping a little journal with a list of all the names that catch our fancy. I'll warn you up front that we won't tell you what we choose until it's either a done deal or until we just can't hold it in because we found the most "perfect" name (the more realistic choice as Jim and I just can't seem to keep any exciting news to ourselves), but I'm definitely open to suggestions. I have realized already that I need to have about 22 baby girls and about 16 baby boys just to utilize all the names I really like so far. Given my finances, I can't adopt that many, and given my 31 years, I can't birth that many either so I'm left with narrowing down the options.
Picking a name this early might sound really silly (it does to me partly) and especially because the name we pick, might not go to our referral. What does that mean? Ok, say we choose the name Sally (which is not on our list). We start getting ready for Sally's arrival (assuming we pass the home study) and instead of saying, "our little girl" we actually start calling her Sally. Ok, so then we get the referral. We will get a picture of her, maybe a video. We'll get her medicals and work with an international adoption doctor here at the UofM to determine if she's healthy. So then we decide to accept the referral. Now we have a face to go with the name. Sally all of a sudden becomes someone specific. We call her Sally when we talk to each other, we look at pictures of Sally. Ok, so a month later we get to Kaz. "Sally" is gone. Kaz law states that if a Kaz citizen wants to adopt, he/she gets first preference. Meaning the baby house will do their best to hold a referral for us, but if a Kazakhstani walks in and sees our "Sally, " that person can legally adopt her. Now does that mean we fly back home with no baby? No. There are no instances of that happening in WPA. All that means is that we now get a different baby girl. That process is what's called "losing a referral." WPA places 120 babies a year from Kaz and they have only had 4 lost referrals EVER (and again, 0 instances of anyone leaving the country without a baby), but what does that do to my heart and my emotions if I now have a face to go with the name and she's not ours afterall? If I'm the less than 1% who loses a referral, do I name the next baby Sally? Or do I let the name Sally go with the face, and choose a new name for our new little girl? Or is the <1% not worth worrying about? But anyway, as to the choosing of the name... I'm simply tired of calling her "our girl" or "our little girl." It would be nice to have a name to call her. Otherwise we'll all get home and we'll still call her Girl. :-) So yeah, we're rocking and rolling on the process- do we get excited about the name and pick it now (now being in like 0-5 months) or wait for like 8-10 months to go by?
Listen to me!! I'm talking about all this as if the homestudy is a done deal!! :-) We could use as many prayers as you guys are willing to give on that part (and we'll definitely keep you updated on that), but on the other hand, I do have a sense of peace about all this. Maybe I shouldn't say that out loud, but I do kind of. I just have a feeling that this will be a rather smooth and timely process. "Timely" is still relative of course as I'm counting on a year.
I should probably stop typing while I'm ahead- although I think that was long ago. I really only signed on to type the "Holy cow, they got it already!" line. Funny how I guess I had more to say than just that.
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Friday
05.26.06 - Posting Comments
If you're interested in commenting on our posts, there is an easy way to do that. You don't have to comment on the blog- feel free to send an e-mail, but if you want to, it would be fun for us to have a record of your thoughts along the way as well as our own. Here's how to do it:
- At the bottom of each post, there is a line that says, "Post/read comments." Click on that line.
- Type your comments in the box.
- Click on the dot that says "Other."
- Type your name so we know who the comment is from.
- Go down to "Word Verification" and type the letters you see above. This is a little weird, but it prevents automated computer programs from spamming us and overwhelming us with junk comments.
- Click on "Publish Your Comment"
Easy as that.
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- At the bottom of each post, there is a line that says, "Post/read comments." Click on that line.
- Type your comments in the box.
- Click on the dot that says "Other."
- Type your name so we know who the comment is from.
- Go down to "Word Verification" and type the letters you see above. This is a little weird, but it prevents automated computer programs from spamming us and overwhelming us with junk comments.
- Click on "Publish Your Comment"
Easy as that.
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05.26.06 - And we're off!!
No, not to Kazakhstan. Not yet anyway. :-) Paperwork Round 1 is complete! It's in the mail. The notarized stuff is in a packet that is both registered and requires signature. So why is "in the mail" a big deal? Well other than the obvious of course- you can neither succeed nor fail if you don't try... But the even bigger deal is that the checks went out with it. Nice sized checks. Granted we still have to pass the home study, but we're committed now. Before it was all just talk. Now it really is "something."
You guys should have seen the stack of paperwork. Once I made copies of everything for myself, the stack was two inches tall! Now I will say it's separated into about 8 Manila folders, so they added to the height, but still...
Jim was so cute the other day. See, we have to get letters from our doctors stating we're in good health so I called our clinic and made appointments for both of us for physicals and blood work. Well Jim doesn't like doctors and the sight of his own blood makes him quite queasy and he turns white. So the morning of his appointment the first thing he does when he wakes up is grumble, "I have to go to the doctor today." :-) Poor guy. He survived though. He said they sucked so much blood out of him that his arm shriveled and turned to a prune. I tried to call him on it by saying, "C'mon! They only take three small vials." He was adamant though. He insisted that they were three barrels and that his whole arm did shrivel up. :-)
So anyway, what's next? I think I've mentioned this before, but I'll go through it again as there are many details to this process. In order to adopt, we have to go through what's called a home study. A social worker will come visit us at least twice, and both visits will take about 3 hours each. She/He then gives us a thumbs up or down. If we get the thumbs up, he/she writes a report saying as such.
So what I did today was I mailed off two application forms (plus some other documents). The first application went to the agency we want to use to adopt from Kazakhstan. World Partners Adoption. They will start processing our application, but won't finalize it until they receive two things: 1) 4 positive reference letters, 2) passing result from the homestudy.
The second application form was to the home study agency- Summit Adoption Home Studies here in St. Paul. WPA does home studies as well, but they are located in the state of Georgia. We are not. :-) Therefore because we chose an adoption agency out of state, we must choose a home study agency in state. (The commuter cost to get a social worker from Georgia to MN a couple of times would kill us.) :-) Not to mention the home study has to be per MN law.
Summit also required a lot of documentation (some notarized, some not) to accompany our application. They will process both and if we come back as viable adoptive parents (no criminal history, etc), they will contact us to set up the appointments.
So that's the next step. We start the home study process which can take anywhere from a month to three months.
Next
Back
You guys should have seen the stack of paperwork. Once I made copies of everything for myself, the stack was two inches tall! Now I will say it's separated into about 8 Manila folders, so they added to the height, but still...
Jim was so cute the other day. See, we have to get letters from our doctors stating we're in good health so I called our clinic and made appointments for both of us for physicals and blood work. Well Jim doesn't like doctors and the sight of his own blood makes him quite queasy and he turns white. So the morning of his appointment the first thing he does when he wakes up is grumble, "I have to go to the doctor today." :-) Poor guy. He survived though. He said they sucked so much blood out of him that his arm shriveled and turned to a prune. I tried to call him on it by saying, "C'mon! They only take three small vials." He was adamant though. He insisted that they were three barrels and that his whole arm did shrivel up. :-)
So anyway, what's next? I think I've mentioned this before, but I'll go through it again as there are many details to this process. In order to adopt, we have to go through what's called a home study. A social worker will come visit us at least twice, and both visits will take about 3 hours each. She/He then gives us a thumbs up or down. If we get the thumbs up, he/she writes a report saying as such.
So what I did today was I mailed off two application forms (plus some other documents). The first application went to the agency we want to use to adopt from Kazakhstan. World Partners Adoption. They will start processing our application, but won't finalize it until they receive two things: 1) 4 positive reference letters, 2) passing result from the homestudy.
The second application form was to the home study agency- Summit Adoption Home Studies here in St. Paul. WPA does home studies as well, but they are located in the state of Georgia. We are not. :-) Therefore because we chose an adoption agency out of state, we must choose a home study agency in state. (The commuter cost to get a social worker from Georgia to MN a couple of times would kill us.) :-) Not to mention the home study has to be per MN law.
Summit also required a lot of documentation (some notarized, some not) to accompany our application. They will process both and if we come back as viable adoptive parents (no criminal history, etc), they will contact us to set up the appointments.
So that's the next step. We start the home study process which can take anywhere from a month to three months.
Next
Back
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